Category Archives: daily journal

Held Tight

Held tight by disbelief

tighter still by dismay.

 

A bloated buffoon

with forked tongue

in charge now

and able

to set a course

to dictate

to hold the cards.

 

But the winds still move

according to earthly laws,

birds fill the trees

as morning crests,

children still say

“You are so silly.”

 

Please.

Please.

Please.

 

Not yet,

not yet.IMG_1704

Hugo and Sassafras

 Puppies.

And there we were,

into the woods,

the brook,

the meadow,

our hearts overflowing into the open wild, 

together,

 in search of nothing more,

than what we could discover,

together.

 

Then,

I let them go,

to other hands and hearts,

as life does,

they went that way,

I went another.

 

In stories and visits,

I saw them thriving:

eight years of glory.

 

Two phone calls,

within months of each other, 

genetic balls of cells,

carrying them both away.

 

Buried now, 

near each other.

 

Those of us who loved them,

thoroughly,

in deep,

gifted in that loving.

 

I see them still:

puppies,

into the woods,

the brook,

the meadow,

and someday,

I will follow.

 

                                                        Hugo and SassafrasIMG_8716

More

There is the inferred,

between

the lol

and the <3.

 

I linger there,

believing there is more:

more heart,

more depth,

more intrique.

 

I picture a place,

the characters,

the conflict to be resolved,

and that’s where

I most want to stay.

 

In plots, 

in points well taken,

in words that convey it perfectly:

stories,

images,

feelings.

 

Borne up and out,

of texts 

and emails,

sent through the air.

 

How do the words stay intact?

 

And there,

in what’s not said,

in what might have been said,

if you called,

if I did:

 

go.

 

 

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This Fish

Plucked right out of the sky,

a fish of largeness,

a bass,

and me,

not expecting this big.

 

All day,

I thanked the bass,

as it lay on ice,

in keeping.

 

Then me,

steaming and eating the fish,

imagining its life in this lake, 

its body,

sleek scales in glinting flight,

water flight,

weightless,

like outer space.

 

And me,

pulling it

right out of its sky.

 

With every bite,

this fish,

now,

me.

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A Few More Days

This is their world: seagull in heightened flight, heron low skimming, geese flocked up close among lilies, loons in tremolo warning, snakes curled long absorbing heat.   Among them now, barefoot and listening to Beethoven, first thing Sunday morning, and suddenly, all I want, is to be part of their world.   Music off, breeze picking up, the lake is stirring now.   There it is: their world, and me, thinking, and trying too hard, to find a way in.   In a few days.   In a few days, limbs and breath, in tranquil stretching, loose and deep, will be floating effortlessly, in our world. IMG_8636

Low Tide Gift

IMG_8556

And there they were,

tucked low and close,

among the sea stones. 

 

In search of mussels,

I found a star fish,

suddenly thrust into

a direct hit of sun.

 

A moment to make sense of this,

and then: 

more of them,

large ones, 

blue,

white,

coral,

star fish.

 

Low tide,

just minutes spent out of water,

I watched as the ocean returned

down into the crevices.

 

I went down, too,

and stayed,

lost in the reverie of tides,

as the water settled in around their arms,

opening,

displaying minute filaments,

white as pearl,

slowly reaching for,

rock,

kelp,

and each other.

 

And there I was,

caught,

not in a net, 

but in awe,

as each one vanished,

beneath the waves.

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